bucari

thanks to exploreiloilo.com guy

so it is true, when God closes a door, He opens a window.

i was reading excerpts from a book at gracenotebooks.com. it was a story of a woman who was in love who saw someone as perfect but felt the opposite. Seeing and feeling. i was in love with someone once. i felt something perfect but saw a man with a little boy's heart. i saw a little boy who giggles to himself when he sees pigs. he says cooties every time you kiss him on the cheek. he was almost twenty who had the most peculiar way of moving his ankles while conversing. i was happy every time i thought of him, every time i talked to him, every time i hear his laugh. i wanted and needed him so badly. i prayed for it. what i felt was love for that little boy and i told him. i expected the worst and best at the same time. i hoped and thought everything would work out. he turned me down and my whole world crashed in front of me. i was angry at him. i was angry for loving him.
then, i realized that it wasn't his fault. he didn't come knocking on my door begging me to love him. it was just me. i chose to give all the love, time, energy that i could give; i dreamed all that could be dreamed and so much more. but, that didn't put me at fault either. God gave me a chance to love and be loved in return. it wasn't the kind that i wanted, or needed. up until that point in my life, i never saw what was behind me. i spent too much time looking at him. when i fell from cloud 9, my family and friends (including him) picked me up. they glued me back together and slowly, they cured my broken heart. i was looking for love and it found me.
i am not at a loss. all the pain and tears amounted to a better me.
i am happy and content. i couldn't ask for more.